I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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