you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
