You don't have asthma, your pregnant
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
