I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
