i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
