your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
