I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
