Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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