You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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