i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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