I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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