Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize