So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
