As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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