The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
