He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
