the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
