when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
