Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The best revenge is premature balding
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
