Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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