OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
