had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
