okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
