I didn't shave. On purpose
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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