awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
