Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is it because I queefed?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
