Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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