Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
