After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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