I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
