I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
did i walk over a car last night?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
