What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
