Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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