she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize