it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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