I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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