So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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