Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
