I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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