Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
