I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
