this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize