weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
