what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
