THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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