just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
