Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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