Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
