the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
