One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
