Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize