Dual....:-)
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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