Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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