Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
