i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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