our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
