Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
