she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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