Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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