I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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