guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
