i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My ATM looks so different sober.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
